Let me tell you a story… Once upon a time there was an unhappy control freak named Gaia. She needed to always be in charge and in CONTROL of EVERYTHING and EVERYONE!!! The world saw me, Gaia, as a very confident strong and powerful leader though deep inside I was a fucl<ing mess! I was always stressed out and having major healthy issues, not sleeping and the worst part was that the people closest to me did not always like spending time with me!
My ex husband, who became an ex for other reasons (lol), one day pointed out to me that the more not safe and losing control the more I needed to turn into a control freak. I would go from happy and Zen to an angry, stressed out, crazy bitch in seconds.
I had no idea how to feel safe without being a control freak and my search for a solution lead me down the rabbit hole (so to speak!) to exploring BDSM submission with my partner. We both noticed that when he dominated me in the bedroom, I would submit my everything in those moments… things changed; I felt safe, my brain became quiet and suddenly the world was amazing space! I didn’t have to think, or be in fear and there was only the stillness of orgasmic inner peace…
I started to notice it affecting all areas of my life and it became easier to be that just go with flow girl improved. Of course the happy byproduct was that people that where closest to me enjoyed spending more time with me.
Now when I needed to be in charge there was no more frenzy or anger or impatience. I was just relaxed and calm.. It improved my sleep and health while myself acceptance and self love increased. This inner peace that happens in the bedroom when I was submissive started changing and affecting my whole life in a positive ways!
I am an ALPHA person but in order for me to be the best Alpha in life and not be a stressed or an angered control freak, I MUST surrender sometimes in bed… and in life.
As a sexual wellness coach I saw many clients struggling to figure out how to feel calm and relaxed while trying to navigate all the $hit of letting go of control. So I decided to add to my coaching practice BDSM sessions allowing for a safe space to learn how and what safety was and how to achieve that sense of security while letting go of control. How giving over their power to someone that they trusted could help them discover inner peace, self acceptance, feel safe and even more empowered!! Through these BDSM sessions they would discover their voice and how to set healthy clear boundaries. Being made to ask for what they wanted in clear ownership allowed them to improve their communication skills in all other areas life.
I started to see huge shifts in their lives!
They were calmer in personal and everyday life and not so stressed or so tightly wound. At work they started to feel more confident and while some got promotions many saw their work performance increased and that they became better leaders, mangers, and executives. Entrepreneurs had more focus, creativity and business success stories to tell.
The success of their inner personal relationships increased and improved because they where no longer easily angered, or stressed and the need to control everyone and everything around them.
When you can learn how to feel safe and trust to surrender to someone, it makes you stronger, more powerful and a more balanced person. After learning that you’ll find that when you’re needed to be in charge and stepping up to that leadership role you’ll do so with a sense calmness, stillness and silent confidence that is born out of knowledge, skills and compassion… because you are not afraid and out of control inside!!
I still need to let go of control for set times as it helps me to stay calm, zen , focused and brilliant for others around me and the whole world.
It is tiring and lots of work being in control and ON 24/7. Surrendering has become my reprieve and my physical, emotional and mental vacation. Also of course it is fucl<ing hot and damn sexy giving someone else the reins every once in a while…
Be aware though that you should reach out to a professional for support and education if this is new to you… DON’T just go home and ask your partner to tie you up and beat you !!! That most likely will end up very badly for your relationship and your physical, mental and emotional well being as it can be dangerous … SO DO YOUR RESEARCH and find that Pro Dom to help you on your path of letting go through the 4C’s of Communication, Consent, Caring, and Caution.
If you want my support and coaching visit me at www.empressgaia.com/executives and LET GO!
Have a safe, kinky letting go day!!
Your sexual wellness coach and BDSM Lifecoach,
Empress Gaia
