You tell me that you know what you want, and I know you believe it to be true.
But, then, when you are chained to my cross, your body tells me of a different story.
It speaks to me, softly at first then crying out to be quenched of the thirst that has been stored inside for all too long.
The longing to surrender, the longing to experience the bliss of slipping into the space between. That void of nothing.
It comes at a cost, I whisper back to your body.
Are you prepared to pay the price?
The emphatic yes as your back arches up after my flogger lands with just enough impact that you feel it ever so slightly more than comfortable.
The slight discomfort that you seek, and I repeat as your body continues to tell me its story. It’s a desire for a release.
But not the one we have been taught to look for. Not the typical sexual release as it is called in places that host neon signs to indicate they are open at the wee hours of the night. Places that hide under the paper-thin veil of being a spa or offering massage.
No one is fooled by this veil.
But that is not what your body seeks, not what you truly crave.
No, it is something deeper that you seek and yet you have been too afraid to go out to look for it.
What if you don’t find it? Yet, what if you do?
Who are you if you surrender?
Who are you if you need this mix of pleasure and pain to get there?
Moving you through the procession of pain and then pleasure. Again and again, each round slightly more.
Each round, I watch your body. I hear it telling me what it desires and see the resistance loosening.
And then it happens: Your body drops, and with it, your mind effortlessly drops into that void along with your body.
I pause, holding you as you breathe in this new space. Knowing the joy of that void, knowing how the body pulls you to anything that can get you here.
The reason you ended up in my dungeon in the first place.
This piece was inspired by a client dropping into subspace for the first time. Each session, he has been letting go and surrendering to me more and more, and on this day, he was ready and fully let go.
Had he not discovered that not getting the “release” was the way to find the surrender that he was actually looking for.
It was such a beautiful moment, and I cherish sharing that energy. Bringing someone to discover the bliss of the void and the joy of surrender.
And if you like my writing style, let me know because I am working on my next book which is a bit of a cross between Eat Pray Love and 50 Shades. Raw, sexy, unfiltered and a true tale of how I became a pro dominatrix.
